BunkBlog

My birthday is tomorrow, so if you’re looking for a present, this would be a good choice. C’mon!

Anyone else remember a short-lived television show named Stingray from the late 80s? Black 1967 Corvette Stingray, with chrome trim on the sides to make it look more like a shark than it does naturally… Oh, yeah.

Went to see I, Robot today. Yeah, um…it’s not very Asimov is it?

Spoilers ahead. OK, maybe not really big spoilers, but I will be speaking in sweeping generalizations that will expose some of the story, especially if you are as insanely well-versed in Asimov as I am…
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While perusing Intelink today, the J2 Daily Briefing included an acronym I wasn’t familiar with: GWOT(Global War On Terror). Now, think for a couple seconds and I’ll bet you’ll get it too. Don’t I feel dumb for not parsing it immediately.

Of course, some of my cow-orkers still aren’t sure what the classification caveat MCF(Multinational Coalition Forces) means, so at least I have them beat there.

And today we have another story of Israel spying on their supposed allies. Why do we treat Israel differently than other countries?

For any other child of the 80s that has wondered Who Ate All The Frusen Gladje, now we have an answer.

Who knew it was made by Kraft? I thought it was Danish or something. Damned fake imports.

So as to avoid anyone claiming that I’m taking things out of context, the original quote here is from one of Mike’s Messages on his own web site.

bq. The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not “insurgents” or “terrorists” or “The Enemy.” They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow — and they will win.

I don’t think that Zarqawi is a) Iraqi or b) a good guy. It’s become a little easier to tell good guys from bad guys in the mideast these past couple months. The guys with the machetes sawing off heads on television? Not good guys. Not revolutionaries, not minutemen, not at all like John Paul Jones. Are the Moore fans going to equate the al Qaeda jihad with the Declaration of Independence next?

I agree with many things Moore says, I really do. I find it amazing how totally uninformed many Americans are about their own country and the world in general. Folks need to find many sources of information and make up their own minds. The parrots that babble Moore quotes without any hesitation get as much respect from me as the dittoheads with their Limbaugh crap.

Kerry, Edwards May Not Vote on Gay Marriage

bq. While Kerry and Edwards oppose gay marriage, they argue that it is an issue that should be left to the states to decide. Both senators support civil unions, which would give gay couples all the legal rights of married couples without letting them wed.

That ranks up there with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the pantheon of stupid weaselly ways of having both sides of an issue. If you think gays can have all the rights of married couples, you think gays should be allowed to marry. Otherwise, it’s just semantics.

But, who has ever seen a politician with a spine?

According to this article on the Reuters wire service, the Bush administration is preparing a contingency plan to delay the November elections “in case of terrorist activity.” Yeah, right.

Look, there’s a terrorist! Did you see him, Dick? Sure did, George. Guess we’d better stay in power a while longer, then.

Republican positions:

# Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
# The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
# Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
# “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
# A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.
# Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
# The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
# Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
# If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
# A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
# HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
# Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
# Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
# Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
# A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy.
# Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
# The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
# You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
# What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
# Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist; but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Democratic positions:

# A divorced, billionaire-heiress-marrying lifetime politician and an ambulance-chasing millionaire trial lawyer are the best possible representatives for the average, working-class American.
# The United States should obey all UN decrees, except when it comes to enforcing the resolutions regarding Iraq, where we should accept an infinite number of ‘just a few more months’ extensions.
# Government should crack down on Big Businesses who spend Big Money to research cancer treatments and pain relief, and ought to hamstring those working to alleviate human suffering with even more regulation.
# Multinational corporations (with competitors who are eager to seize their market shares at their slightest stumble) cannot be trusted, but the monopolistic Federal Government always acts in the best interests of its constituents.
# Americans must show the utmost respect for hate-spewing, murder-preaching Muslim extremists, but sneering leftists are free hold up the worst examples of those who call themselves ‘Christian’ to smear anyone who believes in a Judeo-Christian God.
# If we give free condoms to children and offer no moral education, they will use them with 100% efficacy and treat sex as a serious responsibility.
# A good way to fight terrorism is to try to ‘understand’ murderous dictators and make excuses for radical terror groups that sponsor and train suicide bombers.
# HMOs and Insurance Companies are irredeemably evil organizations that should be seized by the Federal Government and nationalized, so all Americans can get the same efficiency and great service in Health Care that we currently enjoy from the DMV and IRS.
# Promising that the Federal Government will pay all the medical costs every American citizen (and illegal immigrant) incurs is a good way to keep costs low and encourage innovation (“Universal Coverage”).
# Saddam was a good guy who headed an idyllic paradise until “the Great Satan” George W Bush deposed him from Baghdad and killed his wonderful sons.
# Suggesting that there may be conflicting evidence on the topic of global warming is heresy, and anybody who disagrees is obviously a stupid, Bible-thumping redneck.
# The Federal Government exists to enforce wide-sweeping social experimentation on its citizens; anyone who expresses reservations about it are considered enemies of the state and need to be sent to Inner-City Racial Re-Education Camps.

Stolen from , who stole them from , who got them from here and Pjammer. It’s a long and illustrious chain of theft. 🙂

This is your weekend update, with your anchor… Oh, never mind.

We’ll be gone this weekend, doing the “drive to the airport” thing which only people in the middle of nowhere Texas associate with a two-day ordeal of roads and hotels. The end result is that I won’t be online until Sunday afternoon. It’s shocking, I know – Gary away from the computer for over 24 hours; however will I survive?

I’m told I’m not supposed to eat Cool Ranch Doritoes and drink Mountain Dew all month while they’re gone. Sure, right. 🙂

Yahoo! News – Bush Wins; House Leaves Patriot Act As Is

Zach Wamp, R-Tenn., said he switched his initial “yes” vote to “no” after being shown Justice Department documents asserting that terrorists have communicated over the Internet via public library computers.

Now, the example stated did not include anything that we in the real world like to call verifiable facts, mind you. It was a statement from the Justice Department (who have *never* lied before) claiming that some people who are closely related to Al Qaeda have used public library computers for some messages at some time in the recent past – location and dates unlisted. And these records were not subpeonable prior to the Execrably named USA PATRIOT(Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism) Act? Oh, wait…

Without [PATRIOT Act], investigators can get book store and other records simply by obtaining subpoenas or search warrants. Those traditional investigative tools are harder to get from grand juries or courts than orders issued under the Patriot Act, which do not require authorities to show probable cause.

Oh, that troublesome probable cause. Yeah, we want to get rid of that requirement. Instead, every time the long arm of the law is employed to invade privacy and search through records, we just need to have a promise from Ashcroft et al that they really need to do it. Yep, that’s all. That Constitution sure is a pain to have around, isn’t it?

The O’Reilly Factor – Talking Points – The Most Liberal Ticket, Ever

The Bush administration has had a very tough time in Iraq. And the media is heavily weighted against them.

The media is weighted against Bush? Which media is that? Is it the media that refuses to ask him about reports that he paid for a girl’s abortion before they were legalized in the early 70s? Is it the media that doesn’t talk about the giant gaping holes in the explanations for most of his choices while in power? Is it the media that lets him get away with making some of the most egregiously nonsensical statements ever, because he’s a folksy guy? Which particular piece of the media is weighted against Bush?

I’m not saying that everything Bush does is bad (some would find plenty to support that hypothesis, though). I’m just amazed that Bill O’Reilly, one of the most-watched correspondents in the media, who is on the most-watched news channel in the media, can pretend that the media of which he is a huge part is anti-Bush. Hasn’t the “liberal media” myth been blown apart by now?

1. Where were you when you heard that Ronald Reagan died?

Work, in the break room, watching CNN(Cable News Network) Headline News.

2. Where were you on September 11, 2001?

Getting ready for work. Read about airplanes and something big on my LJ friends list. For some reason, I thought I’d be able to get onbase to work that day.

3. Where were you when you heard that Princess Diana died?

Lying in an empty barracks room in Monterey, the weekend before my refresher training in Korean.

4. Do you remember where you were when you heard Kurt Cobain had died?

Seattle, strangely enough. I believe that was the weekend I arrived from Korea on assignment to Fort Lewis.

5. Take one for The Gipper: What’s your favorite flavor of jelly bean?

Watermelon. It’s red on the inside and green on the outside, man.

6. Where were you when Magic Johnson announced he was retiring from the NBA(National Basketball League) due to AIDS(Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?

I was in Korea, or so says the calendar. I don’t remember.

7. Where were you when Reagan was shot?

Probably in school. I was 10, what do you want from me?

8. Where were you when the Challenger exploded?

High school. It was . . . memorable and shocking.

9. Where were you when the OJ verdict was announced?

Again, according to the calendar, I was in Korea. I’m sure it was a big deal at the time, but the most memorable part of the OJ murder thing was while I was at BNCOC(Basic Noncommisioned Officer Course) in Arizona, watching the lowspeed chase on TV.

10. Where were you when the Berlin Wall fell?

At DLI(Defense Language Institute), learning Korean to defend the free world from the commies and keep fighting the good fight of the Cold War. Shit.

Just caught a piece of the Fox News commentary on Kerry’s selection of a running mate. They were questioning his experience, since he has only been in the Senate since 1998, never holding an elected office prior to that. Gee, let’s see now…How many elected offices did the current President hold prior to becoming the highest-ranking person in the country? Oh, just the one? And how many years did he serve there? Five? Hmmm… I can see how the Fox folks would question the ability of a U.S. Senator with six years of experience in national politics but think a governor with five years of local politics is acceptable. Sure.

Oh, and for those of you outside Texas, the governorship here is largely ceremonial, except for all those death penalties they get to sign (152 in five years for Governor Bush).

It’s interesting to contrast our Independence Day with other countries’ similar observances. The one I’m most familiar with, Samil, is the Korean independence commemoration day. This is a rather long stretch from our own, though.

It is true that we “declared independence” on this day, but we took several years until we fought the British to a surrender. The Koreans declared independence from Japan on March 1st, 1919. They failed. The people were brutally subjugated and kept in near-slavery until 1945, when a foreign power (that would be us) gave them their independence.

I think we are unusual in not being given independence, but fighting for it tooth and nail. It took 5 years to win our independence from Great Britain. It took 26 years for the Koreans to be *given* independence from Japan.

Australia may seem like another former British Colony to us, but some in Australia say they are not yet fully independent, as their constitution stipulates that their Head of State (a ceremonial position, to be sure) is the British monarch.

What other countries have won independence, rather than having it handed to them as a gift?

Does anyone know a lot of Access/SQL tricks? I manage the databases at work, but don’t have any particular training beyond hitting F1. Well, the installation I’m stuck with is not one I’d prefer, but it is what it is.

I have to maintain two databases with identical structures but different data. How can I make a query that will provide me a unified view of the data, in a third “front-end” database? I know it must be possible, but I can’t figure it out. The SQL JOIN command sounded like a good avenue of investigation, but doesn’t look right for this. I need to be able to create a fake append, more or less, without modifying the data in the tables themselves.

An example: I’ve got two tables with lesson data (when it was assigned, completed, etc.) but I want to output one report at the end of the month on what was accomplished by everyone. I know, I should just leave everything in one database instead of two. I don’t have a choice. I know, I should use something more powerful than MS Access. I don’t have a choice.

Any help would be appreciated.

*Update* I convinced them to go with a sane configuration, and we’ll be going to one database with an optional field.

In the article Are the Browser Wars Back? – How Mozilla’s Firefox trumps Internet Explorer, Paul Boutin trashes IE and espouses the glory that is Firefox. What makes this most interesting is that he’s doing it on MSN. You just know he felt a little trepidation writing this one up.

Disney is counterattacking Michael Moore, releasing a movie which is about one degree removed from being a campaign film for the incumbent.

bq. Telephone callers to its advance ticket sales office may order a free bible study guide designed to go with the film.

A patriotic movie with a bible study guide? Does our devotion to the country really depend on one religion? I guess those Hindus, Sikhs, Jews, and others just don’t get to be as patriotic as the Christians.