26 Sep 2011 @ 7:08 AM 

The Air Force loves acronyms. They love them so much, it doesn’t matter if they make things more confusing, or not even any shorter than an equivalent English word – they’ll use an acronym wherever possible.

I finally found out what “SMU” means in zoomie speak: Small Marching Unit. This was quite a surprise to me, as every email I get on-base that uses the acronym uses it as a verb. Here’s one from this week:

Please have all “A” shift ITP/ATP Airmen SMU to the parade field…

So, to expand the acronym (and no, I don’t know what ITP and ATP mean either):

Please have all “A” shift ITP/ATP Airmen Small Marching Unit to the parade field…

Notice that there is no verb after Airmen now, and yet they are to DO something to the parade field. This would normally require an “action word” as we were taught back in elementary school. This requirement oviously does not apply to Air Farce English.

The mystery of “SMU” has now been solved, and it is stupid. Not as stupid as when they use “ATT” instead of “now” but still pretty stupid.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 26 Sep 2011 @ 07:08 AM

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 02 Sep 2011 @ 9:10 AM 

I find those “my family” stickers on the windows of SUVs to be tacky and pretentious and assume that everyone who does that is a tool. So…

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2011 @ 09:10 AM

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 20 Jun 2011 @ 9:30 AM 

This is possibly the best 30 minutes a Gen-X person could spend this morning. With more cowbell!

Facebook users: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=evA-R9OS-Vo (for some reason, FB says this is abusive, but they’re just jealous – it’s the Beastie Boys) should work for you, hopefully.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 20 Jun 2011 @ 09:31 AM

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 26 Apr 2011 @ 12:41 PM 

This self-selected sample of self-described “PC People” and “Mac People” is amusing. Some of the answers tend to make me think the Mac people are deliberately messing with the poll, though. “Oh, I use a Mac and I prefer my lunch of bánh mì while sipping a gimlet.” I cry shenanigans! I’m convinced no plurality of any group drinks gimlets in the 21st Century. Either that, or the Mac people are pretentious twats.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 26 Apr 2011 @ 12:42 PM

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 01 Apr 2011 @ 8:50 AM 

I know it’s a fake product (look at the URL), but I know at least a few people who would totally buy these anti-3D glasses to wear to headache-inducing films.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 01 Apr 2011 @ 08:50 AM

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 25 Mar 2011 @ 7:09 PM 

I can’t believe someone actually produced a device specifically for this problem.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 25 Mar 2011 @ 07:09 PM

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 17 Dec 2010 @ 8:25 AM 

If you’ve never taken a programming or discrete math class, you should just move along. For the two of you that remain, here is the funniest binary tree Christmas joke I’ve ever seen.*  And a bonus max-heap joke!

* – This is also the only binary Christmas tree joke I’ve ever seen, so your mileage may vary.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 17 Dec 2010 @ 08:30 AM

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 07 Dec 2010 @ 7:43 AM 

Hey, look, the President compromised again.*

* – Where “compromise” is read to mean “capitulate” of course.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 07 Dec 2010 @ 07:43 AM

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 02 Nov 2010 @ 6:16 AM 

At the grocery store last night, a leggy blonde in a VERY short tight black dress and high-heeled boots (with a thigh tattoo peeking between the two) strolled past, drawing the eye of every straight man in the parking lot. The Boy said, “That’s not a very practical outfit.” He obviously doesn’t like girls yet.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 02 Nov 2010 @ 06:32 AM

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 08 Sep 2010 @ 8:40 AM 

This squirrel has to be the most determined critter ever.  LET GO!

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 08 Sep 2010 @ 08:40 AM

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 07 Sep 2010 @ 7:07 PM 

I love this comic.  Anyone who has ever had to deal with grammar nuts complaining about prepositions and split infinitives, when those are bizarre latinate rules applied to a germanic language should be able to relate.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 07 Sep 2010 @ 07:07 PM

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 25 Aug 2010 @ 5:42 PM 

Maybe this story will start a new campaign like Mothers Against Dirty Drivers. Although the “nature” of the video is not disclosed, I’m willing to bet what type of video it was.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 25 Aug 2010 @ 05:42 PM

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 24 Aug 2010 @ 2:39 PM 

I can relate to this SO much.
GPS Works

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 24 Aug 2010 @ 02:40 PM

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 19 Aug 2010 @ 7:38 AM 

Wil Wheaton continues to prove that there are decent human beings that started out as child actors. An 8-year-old girl sent in her Wilpower fan club application back in the 80s, and the “6 to 8 weeks” ended up being much longer. She never got that fan club package, and the fan club folded many years ago. She’s now a professional writer and blogger, and when Wil Wheaton heard about her lack of Wilpower memorabilia, he fixed it. He found a set of fan club swag, and sent her a really funny letter. You should read it.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 19 Aug 2010 @ 07:38 AM

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 30 Jul 2010 @ 3:42 PM 

I think what the Oregon Tea Party has learned is “don’t steal slogans from vindictive anonymous geeks” but I may be mistaken.  I’ve seen precious little evidence that most Tea Party folks are capable of learning.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 30 Jul 2010 @ 03:42 PM

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 06 Jul 2010 @ 8:44 AM 

This is an absolutely hilarious video lampooning iPhone cult members.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 06 Jul 2010 @ 08:44 AM

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 11 Jun 2010 @ 9:19 AM 

Do you know any insufferably perky people?  Give them Despondex!

And of course, for you Facebook readers who can’t see embedded videos in RSS notes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQWAAWk-naM

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 11 Jun 2010 @ 09:19 AM

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 14 May 2010 @ 9:02 AM 


Youtube Video for the Facebook folks, since apparently Zuckerberg strips out the video embeds.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 14 May 2010 @ 09:02 AM

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 12 May 2010 @ 8:13 AM 

I can’t relate to this comic at all.  Nope, not me.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 12 May 2010 @ 08:13 AM

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 10 May 2010 @ 3:38 PM 

A fishing competition in Texas ended in accusations of cheating, which is probably common. What is less common is that the guy accused tried to get away with making his “winning” catch heavier by putting a one-pound lead weight in it.  I can just imagine how busted he felt when the fish sank when it was dropped in a tank at the judging booth.  Oops.  And, since it was a contest with a $55000 boat as the prize, it’s a felony.  Double oops.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 10 May 2010 @ 03:38 PM

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