27 Jun 2002 @ 11:20 PM 

Who sang that song, “I Spy” from like 1986 or so? The cover of the album had a guy in a fedora or something. “I spy for the FBI, I spy for the CIA, I spy for MI5…”

Once again, I feel the need to make it perfectly clear that not all of the intelligence community is James Bond. I just got an absolutely hilarious phone call today, telling me that I was in the CIA and knew hitmen. Sorry, I don’t know any hitmen. I wasn’t in the CIA. In fact, I don’t know anyone in the CIA even today. I know folks in the NSA, in NIMA, and some other acronym agencies no doubt, but nobody in the CIA.

I was in military intelligence for 12 years. You know how much excitement I saw? None. I read some cool stuff, heard a few interesting things on the radio, but never saw or did anything cool. Sure, going into a blast-proof bunker 3 stories underground may sound neat, but it was just another dark air-conditioned room full of computers and geeks.

Today, I work for a defense contractor and still talk to intelligence geeks. Yesterday and today I had to assist in briefing some high muckety-mucks from D.C. My job was clicking the button to make the powerpoint slides advance on cue. I’m an overpaid audio-visual lab geek now. At least they pay me more than the army did.

But, I still don’t know who to call to have someone killed. Hell, I only got to fire my rifle in the army annually.

Last month, I hung around with Special Forces Command geeks (not green berets, the support team), next month I get to hang around with imagery geeks, in August or September I get to go on a ship and hang around with signal geeks. Lots of geeks, still no James Bond. We’re mainly really mild-mannered, bespectacled dweebs. You know the guys that read Slashdot at work? That’s us.

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble. Real life is actually a lot duller than fiction in this case.
current_music: Joe Walsh – I Like Big Tits
current_mood: amused

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 27 Jun 2002 @ 11:20 PM

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 27 Jun 2002 @ 11:07 PM 

It just struck me yesterday, I’m going on the world’s longest “weekend” starting tomorrow. Mom comes to town on Friday, I am taking off work through the 3rd. The 4th and 5th are mandatory days off from work, followed by a normal weekend of the 6th and 7th. So, I’ve got a 9 day weekend. Pretty cool.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 27 Jun 2002 @ 11:07 PM

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 27 Jun 2002 @ 9:10 AM 

hey
don’t write yourself off yet
it’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just try your best
try everything you can
and don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away

hey you know they’re all the same

you know you’re doing better on your own so don’t buy in
live right now
just be yourself
it doesn’t matter if that’s good enough for someone else

it just takes some time

little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right

do your best

do everything you can
don’t you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say
current_mood: awake

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 27 Jun 2002 @ 09:10 AM

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 27 Jun 2002 @ 8:46 AM 

OK, folks, quick lesson in the basis of our government in the United States of America – there is no enumerated right to avoidance of offense. You have every right to be offended at things that happen, and I have every right to tell you to fuck off.

If you are such a kneejerk anti-religion person that you think having the phrase “In God We Trust” on our coinage is making us into a theocracy, get the fuck out of my country. We really don’t need anyone with such a complete lack of intellect around here anyhow.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 27 Jun 2002 @ 08:46 AM

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