25 Mar 2003 @ 6:52 AM
This gadget to translate between dogs and humans sounds suspiciously like the toy I got in a Happy Meal the other day.
This gadget to translate between dogs and humans sounds suspiciously like the toy I got in a Happy Meal the other day.
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I can already interpret my dog. A whimper paired with frantic bouncing means “lady, I gotta PEE, can we go outside now????”. A low deep bark, repeated, means “DAMN, there’s people walking past AGAIN, don’t these people ever go HOME”. A constant repeating bark means “HEY, there’s PEOPLE at the door, PEOPLE, don’t you HEAR ME, SOMEONE’S AT THE DAMNED DOOR!!!!”. A high pitched silly bark means “Please, play with me, I’m SOOOO bored of licking my own genitals.” And a rumbling growl means “lady, that damn husband of yours is teasing me again, can’t you put a leash on HIM??”
And the steady, mournful, silent, stare means “lady, ain’t nobody FED ME YET, can you get up and put some food in my damn bowl already?” (either that, or it means: “why the castration thing? Did I ask for that? What did I do to deserve THAT??”)
See? Who needs expensive Japanese gadgets?