Holly has been taunted and harassed by the blue jays who are living in our pecan tree. They dive at her, and she thinks she can catch them. She has a very small brain.
My cow-orkers tend to say some absurd things that they think make sense. Here are a couple from this week.
“I’m ok with Word until you get into the advanced features. How do you delete a page break?” Um, yeah. That’s not really advanced so much as it is blatantly obvious. DELETE key ring a bell?
“I don’t run an antivirus because it would be a step backward for me. As a programmer, I know how things propagate and I’ve got a good router.” Sure you do. The magical kind of router that is not only a stateful packet sniffer but stops trojan horses and updates itself automatically to prevent file corruption on all computers attached to it. Fantastic technology.
It’s been a while since I posted about Urinal Etiquette, so I suppose it is time.
My boss was in the restroom the other day when I went in. He was at the far-right urinal, so I (naturally) took the far-left one. This maximizes the distance between us, and minimizes any inclination to make eye contact or otherwise violate the Urinal Code.
I guess it wasn’t far enough. He started up a conversation. Apparently the man has never heard of the Urinal Code. Shocking.
This image found through the joy of random LJ image-hunting. Woohoo!
Last Edit: 03 May 2004 @ 08:08 PM
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Stolen shamelessly from Pouk23, I give you the Holy Armor of God, on Bush.
Oh, the hypocrisy. Oh, the irony. Oh, the absurdity.
What is truly sad is this woman represents a large and important bloc of swing voters this fall. God help us all.
Gun safety presenter shoots self
He’s ok, but what amazing irony. It’s hilarious, in a dark way.
Last Edit: 02 May 2004 @ 03:51 PM
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Especially for Ernunnos.
If you weren’t sure about the sheer chutzpah (or arrogance depending on your affiliation) of our current President, check out this clip from the Letterman show. He uses a producer’s sweater as a cleaning rag for his spectacles!
Last Edit: 28 Apr 2004 @ 08:39 AM
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Last Edit: 21 Apr 2004 @ 10:34 PM
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Dilbert predicts the next step in reality TV.
Last Edit: 18 Apr 2004 @ 10:01 PM
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I don’t know if we’re using area code 256 yet, but if we are, whoever has 256 -963-2229 has a very entertaining way of keeping track of that phone number. hehe
Last Edit: 17 Apr 2004 @ 10:33 PM
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From the inimitable TDJ, we have this wonderful news item: Performers Whip Easter Bunny At Church Play.
This whole Passion Play revival is getting a little too surreal.
The Science Fiction Museum is gonna open soon. Time to move to Seattle!
Here’s a heck of a shirt for ya: Janet Jackson Breast Shot. Bizarre stuff.
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2004 @ 08:12 PM
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CBS had a puff piece on The Olsen Twins online from December 2003. Here’s a quick excerpt.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen aren’t just rich and ambitious, they’re mini-moguls. And they’re already worth, by some estimates, $40 million each and counting.
Did you know that the Olsen girls are not identical twins but fraternal? Amazing, I know.
More importantly, did you know that it’s quite possible these two girls (now 17 years old) may be billionaires by the time they turn 18? Damn, I’m a failure.
Things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army.
This is an oldie, but if you haven’t seen it before, you must read it.
More »
Another SXSW is coming to Austin, and I shall almost certainly miss it again. This year should be good, since Mojo Nixon is retiring at the Continental Club. And, Cory Doctorow is going to be there, too – he’s an EFF geek and author I dig.
I am now off to WinMX to find as much Mojo Nixon as I can.
Everyone else with a literate bent has mentioned it, so here ya go: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim. Jim McDonald is a fantasy writer, and I’ve never read a single one of his books, but that doesn’t mean his advice is poor. He is, after all, published. And, he has over a dozen novels in print, so maybe he knows something. Regardless, I found this post hilarious.
* Spelling counts.
* Agreement of number is important.
* Keep the tense consistent.
* You’re allowed to have more than one sentence per paragraph. In fact, you’re encouraged to do so.
* Dialog is one of your basic tools. Learn how to use quote marks.
* Don’t make your readers guess about the antecedents of your pronouns.
* You’ve heard of Point of View? Pick one. Then use it.
* Not all nouns need adjectives; not all verbs need adverbs.
* Assigning emotions to inanimate objects is called the Pathetic Fallacy. First, because it’s a fallacy. Second, because it’s pathetic.
Alton Brown kicks butt. His rants about the stupidity of Kathy Cox’s crusade against the “offensive” word evolution are awesome.
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