BunkBlog

The friday five seems to have no particular theme besides vanity this week.

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails? It’s randomly generated from a huge file of various tag lines, but always includes my web address.
2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? I’m not sure, but if I did it was probably If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. Geddy Lee is cool.
3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? No idea, maybe BLIP or GEEK.
4. Have you recieved any engraved gifts? What did the inscription say? The only ones I can think of came from my students, and they were variations of “So long and thanks for the fish.”
5. What would you like your epitaph to be? He is not here, he does not sleep.

Because I didn’t want to cause Kitiara to swoon, I had to read Visgoth’s essay titled visgoth: Modern women have it easy. Wonderful Excerpt:

Woke up on bathroom floor. Lamented my cruel fate of having platinum blond hair to go with my fine figure. Surely men will look upon me with lust now. I can’t even venture out of the house to get my hair dyed a dark and unremarkable color, because an unmarried ruffian might say “Hello,” or – it gives me chills to even think it – might even go so far as to smile at me suggestively. *shudder* Back to dusting.

Imaginary Girlfriend Auction

That’s some funny shit there…

I’ve made a lot of complicated things from paper, including a grand piano (twice), a cuckoo clock, and a Viking ship. But, the Yamaha Motor Paper Craft site is daunting even to me. Dayum. Imagine assembling a motorcycle out of paper, including suspension and tires and all. Geez.

Poster of importance to Washington state troopers, anyway. From March 4 to Nov. 27, 2002, one Adams County highway cleanup crew picked up 2,666 jugs of urine and 67 bags with human excrement in them.

Octodog looks an awful lot like CthulhuDog to me…

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The Friday Five for this week is all about shopping.

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not? I like to buy. Shopping is just the time-wasting done by people who don’t know what they want.
2. What was the last thing you purchased? Christmas presents. They’re top secret
3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why? Online – no lines and everything is in stock.
4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much? Yep, but I don’t remember how much. That was a while back.
5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing? I can’t recall. I avoid regret.

From the Margaret Cho BLOG:

Some people worship cock. I am guilty of that. But cock is really Godlike, as is the vagina, depending on my mood. I am bi-spiritual.

Z Cardz are kind of cool. Think of some small boy and how much fun he’d have punching out small plastic parts and putting together a model airplane. Now think how much fun his parents will have paying 50 cents for each model. He’s gonna lose the pieces and break it no matter how much you pay, so might as well get five models at a time for $2.50, eh? 🙂

Yeah, these are definite stocking stuffers this year.

The boy and I went to see the new Looney Tunes movie today. We were both amused. I suspect I appreciated more than he the surfeit of shots focused tightly on Jenna Elfman’s tight buns and long legs. She spent the vast majority of the movie in miniskirts and shorts. I guess that’s how they got the PG rating.

As for the rest of the movie (yes I did notice other things), it was pretty funny and goofy. It’s pretty much what you would expect from a Looney Tunes live action movie, but with a stupendous number of inside jokes. Ralph is hanging out with the sheep and wolf, the frog sings, “Hello my baby” and so on. At four, Alex laughed at many places, but I laughed at many more. I think it’s safe to assume the movie was written for folks who are adults but remember the 90 minutes every Saturday spent watching Wile E. Coyote blowing himself up with shoddy Acme products. And for the women, Brendan Fraser flexes a lot.

Stolen from Mark, who stole it from a complete stranger (to me anyway), who apparently stole it from somewhere else, based on its completely Japanese nature. I give you bullet-time ping pong. Yes, that’s right, a Matrix-esque effect created entirely by men in black. It’s hilarious.

The Onion | Muscleman Put In Charge Of World’s Fifth-Largest Economy

Political observers are struggling to understand exactly how, on Oct. 7, Arnold Schwarzenegger, an Austrian-born, movie-star muscleman with no political experience, was elected to govern the state of California, the world’s fifth-largest economic region.

“There were, in fact, figures from the pornography industry on the ballot who were better equipped to lead than the muscleman,” Gergen added. “A major adult-magazine publisher who could claim not only leadership and business experience, but also a working knowledge of First Amendment law, was in the running. The fact that the pornographer received only 15,454 votes is confusing, in light of the muscleman’s victory.”

Research conducted by equally confused political analysts failed to produce any evidence to suggest that the bodybuilder has ever held political office. The muscleman has not presided over any unions, boards, or committees, nor has he displayed any public-service ambition of any kind.

The governor-elect’s policies are said to be centrist-conservative, although it’s difficult to confirm this, as the beefy actor has offered only a few words regarding his plans for California’s future.

That’s “Yet Another Insult Generator” for those acronym-challendged. The Arabian Random Insult Generator is the latest in a long-running series of gags online that help you fill up your fortune file (non-Unix people please ignore).

The coolest thing to come of Cafepress’s foray into on-demand publishing is the Sinfest book. Who’s yer deity?

Quislibet has posted a Latin translation of one of the classics of West Coast rap. Here’s a quick excerpt:

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius

German Bar Offers Day Care for Men – offering two beers and a meal for 12 bucks is good enough. Throw in some video games, and who wouldn’t want to go?

The Blogger Boobie-Thon for Breast Cancer – Really, what else is there to say?

Frostburg State University now has an honors-level course in the science of Harry Potter.

My favorite quote:

Can antigravity research produce a flying broomstick? Can Fluffy, the three-headed dog, be explained by genetic engineering?

From an article lampooning idiots who fear Harry Potter:

[T]here is a section of the Bible that very clearly tells readers not to shape-change. … So if while your child is reading Harry Potter they are suddenly replaced by a werewolf dressed in your child’s clothes, you’re right to be upset.

There’s plenty more hilarity in the article, including the fact that since Hitler liked lightning bolts, lightning is evil. Like the fru-its of the devil.