22 Aug 2002 @ 4:14 PM 

Jimmy Fallon’s Idiot Boyfriend video is hilarious. hehe

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2002 @ 04:14 PM

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Categories: Entertainment
 22 Aug 2002 @ 2:15 PM 

The total amount of sweetheart insider loans doled out to John Rigas (Adelphia), Bernie Ebbers (WorldCom), Stephen Hilbert (Conseco), Dennis Kozlowski (Tyco) and Ken Lay (Enron) was $3.9 billion.

With $3.9 billion, you could:

Fund Habitat for Humanity to build 83,691 homes at a cost of $46,600 each for America’s homeless.

Send 35,583 poor but deserving students to Harvard Business School.

Buy 390 million tickets to see “Austin Powers in Goldmember.”

Lend United Airlines the $1.8 billion it says it needs to avoid bankruptcy — twice. Or you could just flush the money down the toilet. The results will be the same.

Foot the bill for you and the 195 members of your high school class you really liked to ride a Russian rocket into space. The downside is, two of you will have to sit next to ‘N Sync’s Lance Bass.

Finance 39 equally priced sequels to Eddie Murphy’s $100 million flop, “Pluto Nash.” You could … but please don’t.

Buy every WorldCom shareholder a Xerox copier, some aspirin from Rite Aid, a year of long distance service from Qwest, and a share of Enron stock (suitable for framing).

Fund the SEC’s new, greatly increased annual budget for five years.

Still having a little trouble with the figures? Well, consider this: According to Fortune magazine, the total amount of money raked in by corporate executives selling company stock even while their companies crashed and burned was roughly $66 billion.

With $66 billion, you could:

Fund the annual budget of the FBI, corporate crime-fighting included, for 16 years.

Give 74 times what America currently gives in foreign aid to all of sub-Saharan Africa.

Cover the entire $25 billion America has spent fighting the war against terrorism in Afghanistan. And still have enough left over to give every Afghan more than two times their average yearly income.

Spend 132 million nights with Julia Roberts at the nightly rate she charged as the hooker in “Pretty Woman.”

Buy 3.3 billion copies of “Who Moved My Cheese?” But even if you read each and every one, you still couldn’t explain why it’s been a bestseller for over two years.

Pay President Bush’s $400,000 salary for 165,000 years. Although, if he’s anything like his dad, you’ll only be on the hook until 2004.

Pay the $1.08 million sales tax on Dennis Kozlowski’s artwork and still have $65.99 billion left to buy every masterpiece in the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s impressionist collection at its assessed value.

I imagine your blood is really boiling now. But maybe still not enough to take action. Then try these numbers on for size:

The total loss in market value of WorldCom, Tyco, Qwest, Enron and Global Crossing was $427 billion.

With $427 billion, you could:

Fund the United Nations for the next 263 years, and still have $164 billion left over for unforeseen famine relief and peacekeeping missions.

Get Argentina back on its feet by paying off its external debt three times over.

Give $356 to every man, woman and child on the planet living in poverty.

Build and deploy 2,702 comet-hunting Contour satellites. The cost to track them down is extra.

Buy 61 billion packs of cigarettes, now $7 each in New York. Or you could transplant the lungs of 1.7 million patients — at $250,000 each — suffering from irreversible emphysema.

Order 34 billion prime-cut filet mignons from Omaha Steaks. Baked potato not included.

Pay the combined salaries of every player in baseball for the next 237 years. Although I don’t know why you would. Despite your generosity, they’d still disappoint you and go on strike.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2002 @ 02:15 PM

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Categories: News
 22 Aug 2002 @ 2:01 PM 

In the course of a completely random meandering talk with Kit (covering the NSA and Mountain Dew cans, Southern cooking and paperfolding), it came up that you buy flatware in settings for 4 (most of us do anyway – if you have “a pattern” you don’t count), yet steak knives in sets of 6.

Hot dogs and buns. What is the point? I now have 8 sets of dishes except for steak knives. I guess I’m unlikely to be serving steak to more than 6 people, so I’ll let it go. Otherwise, it ends at 24. Imagine buying 2 dozen sets of silverware just so you have an even number. Even I’m not that nuts.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2002 @ 02:01 PM

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Categories: Musings


 22 Aug 2002 @ 12:16 PM 

Pretty darned good day today. Only 90 minutes of work, a nice lunch with at an Italian restaurant I’d never have found on my own, a shopping trip through a bookstore that had a bigger magazine section than some bookstores have books, and some good tunes. I thought it entertaining that the first song I heard after lunch with Kit (yes those eyes do have their own gravitational pull) has the phrase, “I love the way you smack my ass.” 🙂

Now, to deal with the joy of flying back home tomorow. Woohoo.
current_mood: happy

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2002 @ 12:16 PM

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