23 Dec 2000 @ 9:36 AM 

OK, I’ve had a few people now ask me if I’ve got a copy of the infamous “Brad the Cad” email from Britain. Oddly, I hadn’t looked for it until they asked. But, naturally (I’m so smoove), I was able to acquire a copy (thank you DejaNews). So, without much further ado and such, here is the email in question, with a whole shitload of forwards.

Isabel Lilley on 14/12/2000 11:05:09

Subject: Eureka

poor girl !!!
13/12/2000 10:54

———————- Forwarded by Isabel Lilley/LON/GB/JHMarsh/MMC
on
13 December 2000, 10:54 Wednesday —————————
Memo from Simon Woodward on 14 December 2000, 10:45 Thursday
Subject: Eureka

thought you lot might be interested in this ………………….

———————- Forwarded by Haley Penneck/TD/GB/SUMITOMO on
14/12/2000
10:13 —————————

Jon Seaton on 14/12/2000 10:07:49

Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire

Forwarded by Jon Seaton/TD/GB/SUMITOMO on 14/12/2000 10:16

Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire

The long awaited reply

> —–Original Message—–
> From: Doyle, Mike
> Sent: 12 December 2000 16:18
> Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire
>
> More yet
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Casben, Tim
> Sent: Tuesday, 12 December 2000 15:58
> Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Claire Swires [mailto:Claire@sssh.freeserve.co.uk]
> Sent: Monday, December 11, 2000 10:46 PM
> Subject: Thought you guys might want to see this rather splendid
> rejoiner. What a girl!
>
>
> You may be one of the people who has been ‘privileged’ to receive a rather
> childish e-mail which has been doing the rounds from my time at Norton
> Rose.
> For the record: yes I exist; yes I used to work at Norton Rose; and yes I
> told a guy his cum was “yum”. But for God’s sake, grow up! It was yum!
> I’m not ashamed of that. And for all you guys who thought this was all a
> hoot, let me ask you this: which one of you has never told a girl that your cum
> tastes great or that its full of proteins/good for your hair/excellent
> skin conditioner etc etc or basically any old lie which gets your girl for the
> night to take it in the mouth? So don’t laugh at me, but rather laugh at
> yourself for the pathetic lengths to which you are prepared to go in order
> to get yourself a lousy blow job from some syphilitic ridden piece of scrag.
> Have a great day. And by the way, working for Norton Rose sucks more than
> I could ever manage!!
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Quinlan Harriet
> Sent: 12 December 2000 15:22 PM
> Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire
>
> This is awful but I feel compelled to send it on to the very few in my
> address list who may find it funny. You need to read beyond the crap joke
> at the bottom.
>
> Does anybody know a Claire Swire?
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Byrne Claire
> Sent: 12 December 2000 14:45
> Subject: FW: The Search for Claire Swire
>
> this is your worst nightmare
> (but quite funny)
>
> ps caroline – spotted Vic Man somewhere below! (don’t know if the same one)
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Levell Katie
> Sent: 12 December 2000 14:11
> Subject: The Search for Claire Swire
>
> when you have a moment check this out – poor girl!
> scroll down and start from the bottom and all read comments on the way
> up…..
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Tim Levell
> Sent: 12 December 2000 11:48
> Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious; anybody
> know her?
>
> no comment
> > —–Original Message—–
> > From: Rachel Evans-CHILDRENS
> > Sent: 12 December 2000 11:10
> > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > anybody know her?
> >
> > This is the kind of filth my friends send me of a morning – it gets really
> > long but is very funny! Scroll up from bottom…
> >
> > —–Original Message—–
> > From: Cockerill Chris
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2000 10:23 AM
> > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > anybody know her?
> >
> > Scroll up from the bottom. Very funny. This girl will die if she is ever
> > found.
> >
> > Chris Cockerill
> >
> > ———-
> > From: Jane Yates
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2000 10:06 am
> > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is
hilarious;
> > anybody know her?
> >
> > > start from the joke at the bottom and scroll up – warning to all girls,
> > > never admit anything on e-mail!
> > >
> > > ———-
> > > From: Simon.Hamill
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2000 9:20 am
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > > anybody know her?
> > >
> > > Scroll down to the bottom and work your way up. There’s a moral to this
> > > story….
> > >
> > > —–Original Message—–
> > > From: mathew.kelsall
> > > Sent: 12 December 2000 08:54
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > > anybody know her?
> > >
> > > ———————- Forwarded by Matt Kelsall/Audit/Guildford/GB/PKF
> > on 12/12/2000 08:58 AM —————————
> > >
> > > Simon Taylor
> > > 11/12/2000 02:13 PM
> > >
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > > anybody know her?
> > >
> > > ———————- Forwarded by Simon Taylor/Audit/Guildford/GB/PKF
> > on11/12/2000 14:17 —————————
> > >
> > > Andrew.Kocen on 11/12/2000 12:08:57
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > > anybody know her?
> > >
> > > Read the joke at the bottom, then messages from the bottom up….poor
> > > lass. And some of the recent people it’s been forwarded to make
> > > interesting reading.
> > > —–Original Message—–
> > > From: Nicholas.Walmsley
> > > Sent: 11 December 2000 11:31
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires – this is hilarious;
> > > anybody know her?
> > >
> > > Read from the bottom and see the number of people who have read
> > > this…….
> > > —–Original Message—–
> > > From: Oppenheim, Doug (London)
> > > Sent: 11 December 2000 11:16
> > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > >
> > > most amusing – worth spending some time sifting through this
> > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > From: Mark Gill
> > > > Sent: Monday, December 11, 2000 11:16 AM
> > > > Subject: Fw: The search for Claire Swires
> > > >
> > > > Anyone know Claire Swires?
> > > >
> > > > If not, still worth reading this from the bottom, and do be careful
> > > what you send people in future!
> > > >
> > > > —– Original Message —–
> > > > From: Jamie.Thomas
> > > > Sent: 11 December 2000 10:35
> > > > Subject: The search for Claire Swires
> > > >
> > > > > start at the bottom and read up –
> > > > >
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > Does anyone know Claire Swires? – she has become a little infamous.
> > > I think she may be at Norton Rose. Read from the bottom up.
> > > > >
> > > > > For everyone in the UK – its stinking hot in Sydney at the moment.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Georgiou, Andrew
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 2:22:PM
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Mallesons Stephen Jaques
> > > > > Confidential communication
> > > > >
> > > > > Classy stuff, read from the bottom up.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Curran, Jeremy
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 1:24:PM
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > absolutely tremendous – this chick is copping an absolute
> > > international
> > > > > pizzling… all in the space of one weekend
> > > > >
> > > > > start from the bottom and work up. SHE MUST BE FOUND
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Marshall, Simone
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 1:38:AM
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > Must say, I hope this girls hair is looking good cause her
> > > reputation is
> > > > > certainly in tatters! And as for her taste in men – its almost as
> > > bad as her taste in….
> > > > > Start at the bottom and scroll up!
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Fisher, Heath
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 12:24:PM
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > Read from the bottom up.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Maasland, Tom TCIM
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:30:AM
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > This is great! Read the joke at the very bottom and then the ones
> > > > directly above. Claire Swires must be found…
> > > > >
> > > > > NZ’s underway how about Australia as well… get it moving boys!!
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Bishop, James JIB
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 12:13
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > Read joke at the bottom and read up. What a great chick.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Horner Blair (SGLAW)
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 11:55
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > read the joke at the bottom and read up – poor girl.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Richardson Hannah (SGLAW)
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 11:42 am
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Sarah Udy
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 11:29 am
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > How terrible is this? Worst nightmare.
> > > > >
> > > > > Start at bottom and read up.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Christopher Flatt
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 11:20
> > > > > Subject: FW: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > this is very funny read the joke at the very bottom and then scroll up
> > > > > ….the search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > then forward it on…..so it finally gets back to her
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Nick Lodder
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:35
> > > > > Subject: The search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > this is funny read the joke at the bottom and then scroll up
> > > > > ….the search for Claire Swires
> > > > >
> > > > > then forward it on…..so it finally gets back to her
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Mike Clayton
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:30 am
> > > > > To: Suzanne Westgate; AKL Grads
> > > > > Subject: RE:
> > > > >
> > > > > Butler, do you know this girl?
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Suzanne Westgate
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:25 AM
> > > > > To: AKL Grads; AKL Summer Clerks
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > start at the bottom of this email then scroll up for some serious
> > > > > cringe material. You dear wee summer clerks, let this serve as a warning
> > > > > of the perils of emailing your secrets!
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Nicholson Alex amn
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:15
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > Oh dear.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Baker Miranda MAB
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 10:05
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > oh dear this poor girl – why some things should not be sent in an
> > > > email…
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: King, Matt MQK
> > > > > Sent: Monday, 11 December 2000 9:21
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > Start at bottom with the joke and then check out the confession
> > > > > from Claire Swires. This has gone all over London. Now let’s make it NZ.
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Sarch, Patrick
> > > > > Sent: Saturday, 9 December 2000 5:58
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > check this out – worth the effort…start at the bottom
> > > > > Norton Rose is a ruthless place to be
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Stephens, Sarah
> > > > > Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 4:48 PM
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Alison Bunting
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 16:25
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Jonathan Parry
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 16:12
> > > > > Subject: FW:
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Jonathan Parry
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 16:10
> > > > > Subject:
> > > > >
> > > > > Watch what you confess in your e-mails. Scroll down read the joke
> > > > > followed by “Claire Swires'” frank confession (which is now being thrown
> > > > > all over the information super-highway). Anyone ever heard of her?
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Nick Jefferson
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 15:38
> > > > > Subject: FW: Where is Claire Squires?
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Paul Armstrong
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 15:38
> > > > > Subject: FW: Where is Claire Squires?
> > > > >
> > > > > Read the jokes and then scroll up to see the unfortunate response from
> > > > > claire swires and begin the hunt to return the Email to it’s owner
> > > > >
> > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > From: Paul Hinton
> > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 14:12
> > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > Read the jokes and then scroll up to see the unfoirtunate response from
> > > > > claire swires and begin the hunt to return the Email to it’s owner
> > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > From: Poole, Charlotte
> > > > > > Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 2:09 PM
> > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > >
> > > > > > amusing scroll down
> > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > From: Malhotra, Samidha
> > > > > > Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 1:55 PM
> > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I know its mean, but v funny…poor girl!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: David.Clark
> > > > > > > Sent: 08 December 2000 11:26
> > > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > scroll – the jokes are at the very bottom, but the real value is
> > > > > > > the e-mails from Ms. Swire a bit further up
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Nicholas.Coddington
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 17:22
> > > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > This is good.
> > > > > > > It’s Loreal, but I’m worth it
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Marshall, Joanna (TR)
> > > > > > > Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2000 6:16 PM
> > > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > This has apparently been going round Norton Rose. Very funny!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Ferri, David
> > > > > > > Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2000 6:07 PM
> > > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > one of the best emails i’ve seen in yonks!!
> > > > > > > HUNT HER DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Falkner, Claire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 19:56
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > and she just doesn’t look like that type of girl – you can’t
> > > trust anyone, can you?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Hames, Joel
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:55
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> <
http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:community.icollector.com/++%22clair
>
> >
> > > e+
> > > > > > > sw
> > > > > > > ire%22&hl=en
> > > > > > > found her
> > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Ferri, David
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:50
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > what a top lass
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > let’s start a campaign to find her
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Falkner, Claire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 19:35
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > just found the same thing – still, how many swires are there in
> > > this city?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Drummond, Edward
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:34
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > she isn’t NR actually now I’ve looked for her name on internal
> > > directory.
> > > So we don’t know her email address.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Falkner, Claire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:33
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > has anyone else been tempted to forward this back to her?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Drummond, Edward
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:31
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > they are all NR
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Driver, Robert
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:31
> > > > > > > Subject: RE: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > who are these people? do they work at NR
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Drummond, Edward
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:28
> > > > > > > Subject: FW: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > beggars belief. I feel honour bound to circulate this.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Chait, Bradley
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:25
> > > > > > > Subject: “yours was yum”
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > now THAT’S a nice compliment from a lass, isn’t it?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Claire Swire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:12
> > > > > > > To: Chait, Bradley
> > > > > > > Subject: RE:
> > > > > > >
> > > I hadn’t swallowed for years but yours was yum and very good for me too!
> > > Apparently it’s very good conditioner for your hair too…getting a
> > > funny picture in my head, giggling out loud and now having to explain
> > > to Dave what’s so funny!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Chait, Bradley
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:10
> > > > > > > To: ‘Claire Swire’
> > > > > > > Subject: RE:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Not ALL the time I hope
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > (or so you would have me believe)
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Claire Swire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:07
> > > > > > > To: Chait, Bradley
> > > > > > > Subject: RE:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > lucky I swallow so that wont be happening to me!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Chait, Bradley
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 16:06
> > > > > > > To: ‘Claire Swire’
> > > > > > > Subject: RE:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > cute
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > —–Original Message—–
> > > > > > > From: Claire Swire
> > > > > > > Sent: 07 December 2000 15:53
> > > > > > > To: Adrian James (E-mail); Benny Shipley (E-mail); Chait, Bradley;
> > > > > > > Caroline
> > > > > > > Scotson (E-mail); Chris May (E-mail); Ellie Thorneycroft (E-mail);
> > > > > > > Mark de st croix (E-mail); Matt Metos (E-mail); Pete Kenyon (E-mail);
> > > > > > > Toby Clarke (E-mail)
> > > > > > > Subject:
> > > > > > >
> > > A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
> > >
> > > He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault.
> > > She says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”,
> > > “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies.
> > > So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.
> > > The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”.
> > > She looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???”.
> > > “DO IT!”.
> > > So the nurse sucks it back.
> > > “That one there, drink that one as well.”
> > > So the nurse drinks that one as well.
> > > Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says,
> > > “See honey – its not that hard.”

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 30 Dec 2008 @ 07:31 PM

EmailPermalinkComments Off on That stupid email about Claire and Brad (VERY LONG)
Tags
Categories: Geek

 17 Dec 2000 @ 6:08 PM 

How’s this for surreal…

My best friend lives in L.A., where there is a radio station named KROQ that put out a rather peculiar Xmas CD that is only available at Wherehouse in the Los Angeles area. Naturally, as a misplaced Angeleno, I downloaded the KROQ Slim Santa CD when it was posted on Usenet.

Now, the CDs are sold out in L.A, and I have burned a copy to send to the city of origin, and I’m in Texas. The CD isn’t available here, but I’m the source of Holiday Joy.

Damn, I’m smoove.
current_music:
current_mood: silly

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 17 Dec 2000 @ 06:08 PM

EmailPermalinkComments Off on The net is cool
Tags
Categories: Geek

 16 Dec 2000 @ 2:37 PM 

My new Pine MP3 player showed up today, only 1 hour after I got the email telling me it had shipped. SWEEET! Very nice toy for me.

And, in other news, my computer is a steaming pile of waste that is about to explode. When I hit the power switch the other day, it took 10 seconds before the power actually came on. That can’t be good. So, I ordered a new machine from Micron today. More power! Merry f-ing Xmas to me!
current_music:
current_mood: giddy

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 16 Dec 2000 @ 02:37 PM

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Categories: Geek

 14 Dec 2000 @ 12:35 PM 

Does everyone need to go to a shrink, and some just don’t? Or, is it just everyone I know?
current_music: Metallica – Master of Puppets
current_mood: tired

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 14 Dec 2000 @ 12:35 PM

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Categories: Musings

 12 Dec 2000 @ 8:47 PM 

For the first time ever, I’ve lost the extra proficiency pay the army gives me for being a qualified Korean linguist. Good thing I’m getting out in 56 days…
current_music:
current_mood: apathetic

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 12 Dec 2000 @ 08:47 PM

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 06 Dec 2000 @ 11:47 AM 

So, I got the check for my first commission as a graphics designer this week. Woohoo! Something else to put on the resume, besides “dumb army fuck”.

And, if you aren’t a Slashdot reader (aka, a cretin), the fine web browser Opera is now free for Windoze users, with an ad banner. Add this to Eudora‘s ad-supported new version, and you have two great programs that will allow you to do email and web stuff much faster than the Microsoft equivalents, and not open yourself up to MS-specific bugs (or are they features?). Choices are good.
current_music: Wendy and Lisa – Closing Of The Year
current_mood: accomplished

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 06 Dec 2000 @ 11:47 AM

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 04 Dec 2000 @ 6:35 AM 

Ah, to be able to tell the army that I don’t feel like working today, I’ll be spending it in bed. But, no, must be off to do the responsible thing. damn
current_music: Linkin Park – My December
current_mood: groggy

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2000 @ 06:35 AM

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 03 Dec 2000 @ 3:13 PM 

You must go see this movie.

I’ve not seen Sixth Sense, so I can’t compare Shyamalan’s previous work to his new film, but Unbreakable is a fantastic movie. Love the eye for detail throughout, the absolutely sumptious camera work, the muted pace and absolutely out-of-left-field ending.

Have I made it clear yet? Go see Unbreakable, now.
current_music:
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 03 Dec 2000 @ 03:13 PM

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 27 Nov 2000 @ 9:07 PM 

Everyone needs a theme song. I tried to use “New Man in Town” but that isn’t quite right. For a while it was “I’ll be Hating you for Xmas” but I’m feeling better now. 🙂

So, right now I’m themeless. For the longest time I could find a theme in Prince lyrics, but not today.

What’s your theme song?
current_music: Everclear – When it All Goes Wrong Again
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 27 Nov 2000 @ 09:07 PM

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 26 Nov 2000 @ 12:05 PM 

Sunday –


OK, here we go. I believe I may have alluded to the fact that I’m attempting
to figure out this whole dating thing. There is something very wrong with dating
in the Naughty Aughties (Hey, somebody has to name this decade). Once upon a
time, guys got women’s phone numbers, and then failed to call the women. This
system seemed to work for years.


But, not today, oh no. With the rise of psycho stalker/rapist types, women
cling to their phone numbers more tightly than to their virginity. In exchange,
we dumb men get to wait by the phone and wonder.


Now, here are some of the excuses for being stood up I’ve heard in the relatively
short time I’ve been out and about, and my smartass responses that I wish I
had thought of at the time.

I forgot you
were coming over tonight

I just called
you 20 minutes ago.

I left your phone
number at home

So you’re just
slow?

You must have
come by while I was out

But I just talked
to you on the phone!

I didn’t see
you there

I was sitting
in one place, right next to the door, for four fucking hours

So, women of West Texas, take this as a warning. I want new excuses. I’ve heard
these, so they shouldn’t work again. At least keep me entertained if you’re
going to be a schmuck.

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 26 Nov 2000 @ 12:05 PM

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 25 Nov 2000 @ 3:27 PM 

I’ve had a couple conversations about the whole “she’s a 10” thing lately. Kind of odd, but I really don’t fit the stereotypical mold of “rating” women on a scale.

Can’t we just tell people we find them attractive, without having to compare them to previous people in our lives?

I have, however, spent a few hours playing on Am I hot or not lately.

And, when did the term “hook up” go from meaning meet to get some? It’s not right to redefine cliches on the fly like that…
current_music: Doug E. Fresh – The Show
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2000 @ 03:27 PM

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Dreams

 
 25 Nov 2000 @ 2:43 PM 

Am I really unusual for not remembering most of my dreams?

It seems everyone else talks about what they did in a dream the previous night. I’ve remembered 3 dreams in the past year. And, one was just messed up, the other two romantic, but with two different women.

Oh, well, could be worse: could be sleepwalking. 🙂
current_music: Dramarama – Anything, Anything
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2000 @ 02:43 PM

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 25 Nov 2000 @ 12:20 PM 

Here’s a theory my friends and I have decided on…

If a woman has a tattoo in the small of her back (that’s just above the waist for you cretins), she is a freak. Who is going to see that tattoo except… well, you figure it out.

Naturally, this is in addition to the well-known theory of pierced nipples and navels on freaks. 🙂
current_music:
current_mood: ornery

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2000 @ 12:20 PM

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 24 Nov 2000 @ 10:11 AM 

“El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles” can be abbreviated to LA. Is that the most efficient abbreviation known, or what?
current_music: Howard Jones – You Know I Love You, Don’t You?
current_mood: goofy

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 24 Nov 2000 @ 10:11 AM

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 22 Nov 2000 @ 7:37 PM 

Finally, my domain has been migrated to VirtualAve! Now my email will forward, my website will not 404, and all is right with the world.

Oh, and the cheesecake I’m baking smells AWESOME! 🙂
current_music: Jean Knight – Mr. Big Stuff
current_mood: relieved

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 22 Nov 2000 @ 07:37 PM

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 19 Nov 2000 @ 5:43 PM 

Anyone looking for AndySocial.com, please wait a day or so until all the Domain Name Servers have been populated. I’m changing to a new server, one with a good track record.

Freeservers sucks.
current_music: Everclear – When It All Goes Wrong Again
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 19 Nov 2000 @ 05:43 PM

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 18 Nov 2000 @ 12:16 PM 

Here’s a first: the Error404 page on my site has more hits than the index page. I know that MY links are all good, but I guess some folks can’t type…
current_music:
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 18 Nov 2000 @ 12:16 PM

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 17 Nov 2000 @ 8:18 PM 

I thought I was INTJ last time I took the Kiersey test. Now, here are my results…

Portrait of the Protector Guardian (ISFJ)
All Guardians (SJs) share the following core characteristics:
Guardians like to see themselves as dependable, helpful, and hard-working.
Guardians make loyal mates, responsible parents, and stabilizing leaders.
Guardians tend to be dutiful, cautious, humble, and focused on credentials and traditions.
Guardians are concerned citizens who trust authority, join groups, seek security, prize gratitude, and dream of meting out justice.
current_music:
current_mood:

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 17 Nov 2000 @ 08:18 PM

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Stupid

 
 16 Nov 2000 @ 10:21 PM 

so sad to hear that you don’t want to hang around with me
so lame to see you leave and to know that you believe that it’s over

stupid, stupid, stupid

in time you’ll learn to love me as much as you love yourself

cause when i feel the need to have you back by my side
i am sweet it makes me sick to know that i can be so blind
current_music: SR71 – Right Now
current_mood: tired

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 16 Nov 2000 @ 10:21 PM

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 15 Nov 2000 @ 10:32 AM 

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
current_music:
current_mood: bored

Posted By: Gary
Last Edit: 15 Nov 2000 @ 10:32 AM

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