The Onion | Muscleman Put In Charge Of World’s Fifth-Largest Economy
Political observers are struggling to understand exactly how, on Oct. 7, Arnold Schwarzenegger, an Austrian-born, movie-star muscleman with no political experience, was elected to govern the state of California, the world’s fifth-largest economic region.
“There were, in fact, figures from the pornography industry on the ballot who were better equipped to lead than the muscleman,” Gergen added. “A major adult-magazine publisher who could claim not only leadership and business experience, but also a working knowledge of First Amendment law, was in the running. The fact that the pornographer received only 15,454 votes is confusing, in light of the muscleman’s victory.”
Research conducted by equally confused political analysts failed to produce any evidence to suggest that the bodybuilder has ever held political office. The muscleman has not presided over any unions, boards, or committees, nor has he displayed any public-service ambition of any kind.
The governor-elect’s policies are said to be centrist-conservative, although it’s difficult to confirm this, as the beefy actor has offered only a few words regarding his plans for California’s future.
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2003 @ 09:01 PM
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GOP to put challengers in black voting precincts
Jefferson County Republicans intend to place Election Day challengers at 59 voting precincts in predominantly black neighborhoods, a move that NAACP leaders yesterday called blatant intimidation.
The GOP election workers, most of whom live outside the targeted precincts in western and central Louisville, Portland and Newburg, will be on hand to challenge voters who they suspect aren’t eligible.
Jefferson County GOP Chairman Jack Richardson IV said the precincts were chosen at random or because the Republican Party has had trouble finding registered voters in those areas to serve as election workers. […] Richardson said the precincts weren’t chosen because of their racial makeup or voting patterns.
Yeah, right. It’s a complete coincidence. Sure…
That’s “Yet Another Insult Generator” for those acronym-challendged. The Arabian Random Insult Generator is the latest in a long-running series of gags online that help you fill up your fortune file (non-Unix people please ignore).
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