BunkBlog

What moronic wanker of a “security expert” decided that the Adult Swim guerrilla advertising devices were improvised explosive devices? Improvised Light Bright, maybe!

They shut down significant portions of Boston for these things.  Look at them.  Would you have done anything besides say, “that is the ugliest creature to flip me off ever?”

Some stories are just too darned funny to not share. I think this was on Boing Boing, so if you’re a real geek you’ve seen it already. Apparently, some pot dealers are getting creative, and mixing up the “munchies” part of the weed experience with the “getting high” part. Witness, Pot Tarts and Buddafingers. How do the DEA agents not laugh their asses off when they bust these guys?

Break me off a piece of that Keef Kat bar!

Note: this blog does not advocate doing illegal drugs.

West Texas. Below freezing for several days in a row. Unnatural.

Last month, sledding was done on cardboard, in shirtsleeves:

I killed Concho Online today. I attempted to launch this site a couple years ago, as a citizen journalism site, or hyperlocal media site, depending on your inclination. Since nobody but me had posted anything on it since last winter, it had obviously devolved into another personal site. Eh. I’ve got enough self-aggrandizement going on.

Spotted at a bank this afternoon: Moble Branch Ribbion Cutting Ceremony. Ouch.

To follow up really quickly on my earlier spelling post, here’s another one:

Plead – the past tense of plead is either pleaded or pled. The past tense of plead is not plead.

Voltron makes no sense at all. Giant robotic lions that merge to form a massive universe-defending robot, and they’re afraid of a black cat and witch. Did they merge two different stories here?

Robert Anton Wilson is an ex-Discordian. He will be missed.

From our local catfish restaurant’s television ad: “We have chicken-fried bacon!” Yes, folks, bacon is so healthy already, it’s even better once it’s been batter-fried. They probably cover it with gravy too. Mmmm….feel those arteries hardening!

Alex actually stayed up until midnight, barely.  He was very happy to see the ball drop in New York, while snacking on cheese and crackers and sparkling grape juice.

Now, he’s slamming Hot Wheels into each other.  Good start to the year.

I’m bored.  Happy New Year.

Two bombs went off at midnight in Bangkok, Thailand. This is part of a series of eight bombs during the night there.  Happy New Year.

Dustin Donica, a 22-year-old Specialist in the U.S. Army from Spring (a town near Houston), is the 3000th confirmed American fatality in Iraq.  Happy New Year.

Quote of the day from a Food Network show: “We bought these canolli shells from a little specialty shop, I’ve got an Italian deli down the street, you’ve probably got the same thing near you.”

Apparently you’re only supposed to watch “Easy Entertaining” if you live in New York City.  Easy my ass.  Oh, sure, let me just run down the street to the little specialty Italian flippin’ pastry shop.  And while I’m out there, I’m gonna pick up some smoked pimento from the Spanish tienda.

There are days that I really need to get out of this town.

James Brown, singer, songwriter, bandleader, dancer, druguser, and wifebeater – dead at 73.  Great music, absolutely horrible person.

Requiescat in pace, you old coot.

Of the various Philip K. Dick movie adaptations, I don’t think most really get the Dick vibe. The theatrical cut of Blade Runner, for instance, was altogether too optimistic for a Dick story. Total Recall was not badly written, although the acting and special effects really nuked it for me.  Paycheck was not too bad; very disorienting and off-balance.  Minority Report was coherent and understandable, which isn’t really very accurate either. So, you can imagine how much I enjoyed the Linklater adaptation of A Scanner Darkly.

Not only does the protagonist not know what is going on most of the time, it never does become perfectly clear even at the end of the movie if his perceptions match reality or not. The rotoscoped animation is a perfect way to portray the insanity that the hallucinogenic story needed. Too bad that it didn’t even recoup its budget in the box office, but maybe it’ll get legs on DVD.

Definitely a good movie for those who like Kafka or Dick. Maybe not so much for those who like Grisham or Crichton.

The idea here is to post the first sentence (or part of it if it’s freakin’ long) of the first post of each month from 2006.  I went the extra step to link to the post, in case you want to understand why I would say some of these things.  So, here ya go:

January: I’ve added the new and improved WordPress 2.0 software to the site.

February: Someone (phbt!) recently pointed out that it has been more than two weeks since I posted…

March: Based on reviews from Kitiara and others, I think I’ll pass on Ultraviolet.

April: The BBC has a list of 10 stories that could be pranks but aren’t.

May: To announce that there must be no criticism of the president…

June: We have (as of this writing) eight total movies playing in the city of San Angelo.

July: …Kyle XY and the dearly-missed Fox show John Doe…

August: …I now have full wine racks…

September: Friday, we had planned to go to the Kiddie Park and Witte Museum.

October: My friend Dora hosted a party at her house last night, and I catered it.

November: …Flying Spaghetti Monster references…

December: I seem to have a few new readers.

Let me preface this with the admission that I am not making, and have never made minimum wage. Sure, during the early years of my indenture to the U.S. Army, I’m sure the wage I made, prorated hourly, was a pittance. But, they did give me a crappy room to crash in and some mediocre food and medical care. So, better than many.

This week, I had a conversation with my boss about the death of the minimum wage. He is convinced that we do not need to raise the minimum wage for any reason, letting the market decide how to pay things. So, here’s a few things that I can point to as some backing for my opinion (everyone has one) that the stagnation of our minimum wage is a bad thing for the country.

More »

General Schoomaker says the Army ‘will break’ without more troops. He also wants to use the Guard and Reserves as just more active duty troops. And people wondered why I didn’t join the Reserves when I separated from the Army. Why get out if you’re not getting out?

I want a girl with lips like morphine,
Knock me out every time they touch me.
I wanna feel a kiss just crush me,
And break me down.

Knock me out (knock me out),
Knock me out (knock me out).
Cause I’ve waited for all my life,
To be here with you tonight.

I want a girl with lips like morphine,
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping.

And I wanna feel that lightning strike me,
And burn me down.

Knock me out (knock me out),
Knock me out (knock me out).
Cause I’ve waited for all my life,
To be here with you tonight.
Just put me on my back,
Knock me out again.

I want a girl with lips like morphine (lips like morphine)
Knock me out every time they touch me (every time they touch me)
I want a girl with lips like morphine (lips like morphine)
To knock me out.

See I’ve waited for all my life,
To be here with you tonight.
Just put me on my back,
Knock me out again

According to this new study by a couple universities and a national group, the North Pole may be underwater by summer 2040.  Hey, if global warming sinks the North Pole, how will we explain Santa Claus to the kids?

Save Santa Claus, stop global warming.